Apes = Bastards.

Apes. What's that about? Lets face it, apes are just fuckin' hangers on. Oh aye, great in the jungle, but how would long would one last living down Sauchiehall Street in Glasgow? What was the last album you bought made by an ape? When did an ape last help you across the road? Or buy you a pint?

No, what really gets me about apes is this. If, as they say, man decended from apes - then why the fuck have we still got apes? You've done your job Mr Ape, created a higher level species, now just fuck off.

A little piece of grumpiness on t'web (#1)

Meat Pies

I mean, what is the fuckin' deal here? A meat pie? Why are you being so vague, Mr Shopkeeper? When I go to a restaurant, and look at their menu, I see specifics - lamb, pork, beef, chicken and so on. But no. Oh no, not you. You want to sell me a meat pie. Ok, yes, you also have a pork pie available, but I notice that it apparently costs extra for a pie with named-animal filling. So why? If it's pork and beef, sell me a pork and beef pie. Is it actually the case that selling something called a "suet, hoof, lip, scrapings, rusk and a few flakes of actual ungulant flesh pie" may not be idea of the year?

Tell us the truth, or stop. Just stop.

What?

What do you want? You're so bored you're clicking idly on the "next blog" button, well, I'm sorry, I don't do entertainment. Close the page on your way out....